All but...

happy! Fuckin shits has to happen to fuck me. Fucking automatic watch stop ticking. Fucking car broke down. Seems like a "bar spring" (you car buff should know what that is) broke when in a normal stock car, it never does break same goes for my automatic watch, like what the fuck!!!! and i've got a art exhibition openning to attend next Sat. Nothing seems to be going right for me. FUCK LIFE!

The Unknown

The hands has made a full circle,
fluidly passing through faces,
translation of conversations,
subconcious recordings unveiled,
gentle stroke of soft indention,
intervention in context of the mind,
echos of the weak and above
voices of the strong and front,
kisses of life,
ticking moment of silence.

Early Perks

...all it took was a "morn'n"

Monotonous

Life is sad.

Quiet drinks in a noisy pub during CNY holidays with a mate.

Came back on Saturday, late. Had a text from a friend whom I haven't heard for a year. Said she's been busy, said she's been back in Malaysia for 4 months and will be flying back to NZ real soon. Said it would be rude to not call. She texted, I called to find out who so she still is rude. Said wanted to join in a coffee session I agreed with a mutual friend earlier. That's rude. I made sure I slipped in between the lines during the conversation I find that very rude. "I'll see if I can finish work in time" I said in the end.

Worked late on Sunday, cancelled coffee with mutual friend didn't borther informing the person from NZ.

Spend valentines dining with a collegue, did the graveyard shift after that.

Client stood us up on tuesday.

News has it that clients will want to change the whole urban rejuvenation residential project into a hotel, in a red light district. A stab in the chest!

Worked till late for the rest of the week.

Woken up by loser housemate today because he wanted to get his made to clean up the apartment. I went down to Bangsar and had coffee by myself in the mamak. Went to MPH bookstore in Bangsar Village to idea browse for my next project. Had another coffee at another mamak after that. Approach by a few sales girls. The first couple tried convincing me yoga, the other one sells lancome parfum and that's the only conversation I had with the ladies today.

Babling Blogger's meet tonight, I'll see if my migraine gets better.

What's the point in all of these??

Happy Chinese New Year

Do not read the rest of this post if you are a Chinese traditionalist as this is just about the only happy part of this post.

I am absolutely pissed off. Since when is it alright to wake me up to visit my grandmother's grave and not wake me up when my closest cousin whom I haven't met for years came by? I still don't see the whole logic behind this. Wake me up at 9am to go grave visiting and not wake me up from my accidental nap when my cousin came around? For heaven's sake, no offences to my already passed away for a decade grandmother but I wonder who's the dead and probably gonna be dead for quite a number years to come yea?

I did not get a day or even a half day off from work on Tuesday since it really can't be helped, I won't blame anyone for that. You know it iss actually pretty depressing. Especially when the eve is spent measuring the width of carpark ramps at Bukit Bintang since we are trying to do the almost impossible solution for this particular design. Reunion dinner is as good as eating in a food court with my collegues in an empty foodcourt. It became worse when I got home and saw this home party but a group of young chaps a few apartments away. I was only having a ciggy by myself.

The first half of the New fucking Year's day was spent in the crawling fucking traffic on the highway trying to get back to my hometown. Had dinner with my mum's side and well guess what, my cousin's brought along his fiance and his sister brought along her boyfriend and I felt like a dickhead when I sat there sipping my fucking tea when everyone else is busy entertaining their partners. Soon after I found myself in a pub called Pure Bar, my buddy has got half a bottle of walker parked in this overated shit hole in Malacca, same goes for the people.

Sure the place was packed but the crowd is screwed. Packed filled with morons. Sad to say it wasn't a place for picking up any chicks, as those whom are there are taken or plain bitchy. So what if you're working in HSBC in the corporate sector? You're working in Malacca bitch. That's to the bitch for gave my dead end answer when I tried to get friendly. Having said that, the two of us (my friend and I) just sat there and sipped on walker until the palce got too packed and we moved to a mamak to cool it off. Called it a night after that. Not a good one too.

So much for the Chinese New Year. For me, it sure is cocked-up! Hope you had a better one.

conversation

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
can't sleep

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
a lil

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
hate migraines

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
..maybe it's because of the nightmare i had last night

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
strange one

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
from what i recall

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i remembered it being me in the airport and got myself a plane ticket to london

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
the uk actually

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
not london

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and i just flew there, i felt extremely frustrated and i just did it, got a ticket and a flight out

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
when i arrived in the uk, i looked around for a while

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
trying to find my mate's place, but somehow he's not there

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
but somehow i had the keys to his sweet bmw

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i took it out for a spin, i liked it

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and i stopped at a suburb, alil country side feel to it... then it all hit me,
questions " i'm lost, how did i get my plane ticket, how did i pay for it? did i even pay for it? I dun have any cash... where am i gonna stay? how do i get back and it will be cold when it gets dark". while these questions were playing in my head, i follow an asian lady, and went back to town but i was still so confused

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
...i was practically screaming in my head till i work up, not because i scream but my thoughts were so intense

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
when i woke up, it was still dark

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
no idea, idnd't wanna know

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
all i know was i was still in the state of shock

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
there is so much frustration and insecurity in me right now

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
that's what i thought ot myself.. and to remember the dream

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and if i remember correctly, i was dreaming baout being in a forienge country lost as well

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
everywhere

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
questions ---

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
questions i ask myself one time many too often

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
where do i stand in society

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
why am i not moving forward

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
why am i lonely

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
what happened that made me stay away from ppl, i get uncomfy in crowds

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i dunno how and i dunno what to do

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i tried taking more laidback step and let things come if they do

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
but i get very frustrated cos often they don't

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
not the way i like them to

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
then i blame myself for not trying hard enough

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm not gettting sastifaction from what i do, eventhough i know i'm doing it very good, like my job

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
for a trainee to have the same amount of authority maybe even more than a grad archi?

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
think i'm doing helluva well

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
still i don't feel sastified

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
still i don't feel sastified

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
still i don;t feel sastified

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because i am no longer high flying

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because no one knows me anymore

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because there are only a handful of numbers i can call

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because my phone doesn't ring as often as it used to

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because i do not have a hard time choosing where to be on a friday night

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i'm upset because the girls that are attracted to me i am not attracted to

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i do

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i can;t

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and it's more than the job

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
...even in uni

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i am not who i am anymore

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
sad

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
don't know what to do, where to begin with

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i dun see the excitement in life anymore

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i get so pissed off when i see groups of ppl hanging out together simpky because i've only got one handful of ppl whom i've know since "those days"
The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i screwed up so much

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i screwed up so much that it's so hard for me to redeem myself, to even convince myself

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
how can i not?

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
not like this

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
it;s not work ---

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i screwed up when i gave everyone the "fuck off, i'm the dude" attitude back in college

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i gave the "i dun care what u think, screw up, ur insignificant"

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i gave the "ken, fuck u, u can fuck off because i get the girl not u"

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
it's just that it's so hard getting back at one's feet again

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
certain things only happens at certain period of our lives

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and i clearly missed an important one

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
.........u hit the bull's eve

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i am frustrated because i am being treated as one, a commoner

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
sorry for the constant ranting ---

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
head's been playing yoyo with my grey cells

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i rant too much yea?

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
trying too

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
trying very hard to

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
but u know, when i don;t see results, i get really upset

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
very

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
i get what i need, but not what i want

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
and when it goes on for long enough, i get very angry

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
thanks ---

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
it's hard when so much had happened, so much

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
thinkk i've already burst a capillary or two

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
it's so hard to live a honest life

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
or even try to

The Unknown - Seems that all are quiet says:
nice guys finish last