21st May 1983

Happy brithday to her. Enough said.

Limau Manis

In an hour so, there I'll be, moving into a room much closer to my workplace. The thing is, it's not an unfamiliar room, never. It's bound to be filled with nostalgia, memories and such. Mate of mine lived in the same house, and that very same house is still very much similar to how it was. It was back in the year 2000, we were freshies in college, he lived there. In different colleges, I used to head down to his place every weekend, as back then, the area used to be the top drinking hole of Kuala Lumpur, nowadays it's not as lush as it used to be. We were there during it's peak, almost peaking out. Now, five years later, I'm moving back to the same house he's live in back in the joyous days. Everything looks older now, including the proprieter. His hair's greyed out, more wrinkles, his wife, looks older. Still with the same attitude, same talk, only more mellowed. That's how I feel, more mellowed, older. Half a decaded pass and it feel like yesterday when we drink ourselfs silly and head down to to the city with a bloody hangover and check out expensive clothings. We no longer do that. He's in the UK, been there for 3 years or so, coming to four. I left for Australia the year after and will be heading back there early next year, probably for a long time. Funny how things change and how somethings will just never change.

Out of the

Alone. Life clampped down on me. Switching places too many times I lost touch each and every time I leave. The only place I feel I belong to, is in the mist of transition, in the car along the highway, the train while it snakes through the rurals or of more recent years, on the plane, flying between continents. To belong o a place is hard. Each have their society and what not and it becomes harder as I get older. Too long a time has pass. I'm no longer comfortable with changes, I like things to be they way I come across them. By the looks of it, it's very likely I'll end up as an almost eccentric person. Loner they call them. I've often heard those saying that it doesn't have to be as such. Society is messed up. Cultures are for the dogs. Civilisation never did existed. I'll be a workaholic coming back home to my 90's still made in England stereo. Things are now made in China, and things from the far east can't be good. I'm conservative in that sense. Call me a freaking dog, but I rather say the colonialisation brought more good than people would admit to.

De-composition Part 1

I peaked at her from the corner. I bat my lids and looked up front; down again to the newspaper nicely hiden under my desk. I wonder if this will ever end, or is there no real ending? The bouts of low i get, after all these years, I can see that they are cyclic.

There she was again, running her fingers through her hair, tucking them behind her ears and she blew her nose. She does that every morning. I long for these days, long forgoten by those who made it such. Sneaking off classes to catch a few games of pool. It has been a long way since then.

My answer was elaborate, vague, maybe philosophical, at elast that was how it was meant to sound. "...I don't know" and the whole class burst out in laughter. I laugh at mself a lot these days, alone. So much less like me back then, my mind would wonder off and I will laugh at all thsoe good old days where jokes were fresh. Laughter was never forced.

I caught her laughing, in the midst of the circus I made. I knew I have nailed it, she took notice of me...

Employment

Here I am at the midst of yet another change. Got myself in a new firm and soon moving to a new place to live. It so almost feel like the past four months was a decade back, too much happened, too much reflected and yet more to come. The new job; probably a good thing since there is less work, the firm way more organised than the previous and I am forced to learn a new software, one of them next generation graphical-CAD hybrids. The bad; I get bored, I am slow at work since I’m not familiar with the program and I am working on a Macintosh. Yes, and like the Macintosh, the work environment is utterly different, my colleagues are almost “kiddies” compared to those in the previous firm, maybe because it’s a holiday everyday in this firm (hopefully) compared to the last. I do miss proper crowd; not bloody hot shots fresh grads who thinks they’ve seen it all because they have a degree and blatantly bored you to death with their talk? Having an imported set of rainwater gutter is boring, having an exposed universal beam as a lintel is boring, a void for the toilet is boring and fucking Balinese style architecture is just passé. Bloody freak’s got neither brains nor balls. Unlike the other firm, I am not as close with the directors and I certainly do not have lunch and ciggy breaks with the associate. I certainly do not have that much power in my hands compared to the last. All in all that's said, it could be both good or bad. I rather look on the positive note of things for now. I’m moving back to more proper area of Kuala Lumpur and hopefully things will be a little less turbulent for the time to come.