Buzz

Funny how things take an unexpected turn. You know, when I was in Aus, I had always looked back Malaysia as my "place" but somehow or rather during my final month in Aus, I actually felt belonging to her. It's almos like the ice has melted and I finally tasted the days of summer. My very last few days of summer.

I'm at the crossroads. Malaysia isn't as promising as it used to be. Maybe it was never. I don't know how to choose. I simply can't see my options. Pure noise, it is loud.

I am not too happy

I am not too happy at how things turned out. I am not too happy that the ball is no longer in my court. I am not too happy with the rest leaving me biting the dust. I hate the way society works today. Fuck all of you whom I despise. One day all of you who have offended me in many ways will hear no less from me in the near future. I forgive but I can never forget. This is not about work, this post is again about my past. What's done is never just done.

Uncertainty

I'm going through a period of sheer uncertainty. I have heaps of questions in my mind. Heaps of them which I can really answer.

Guess it was a sign when I spent my new year's eve stuck in a mate's condominium with another mate. We were stuck because the arsehole left his car keys in the other mate's car, whom went to temple for the new year's eve. How's that? So, both of us just sat and bitch about life and when the fireworks were displayed, we exchanged new year's good will wishes and went right back to bitching.

A couple of days later, went for my interview. Try this, crop a c.v. the day before partially because the mate back from the uk for holidays (you know, going out and shits), copping a portfolio of my work the day before, got some work attire and finally realise i forgot my acedemic transcripts and stuff. They were left in my hometown. Oh yea, the car was in the workshop as well. Thank god I managed to get a friend to drive me back to my hometown that very night to fetch my stuff. So how did my interview go you ask? It was good I knew my stuff but bad that I had only an hour of sleep.

Interview went well and I started work immediately. How's that? I thought I could get back and get some real sleep! No. I was immediately assigned to a high piority project that very day. Dateline was like days away. The very next day? I was assigned to another project with needed immediate attention. Clients were coming in the day after and so were the engineers. I left the office half an hour before midnight. Second day of work.

How am I going to do this for the rest of my life? Did I make the right choice by choosing architecture? Why? Is it worth the cause? What is the cause? Am I going to regret after 20 years? It's still too early for me to answer but the lawn looks pretty darn brown to me. Hopefully it won't for long. Hopefully, because I am truely lost in uncertainty!