FUCKED UP

No one disapoints me more than my very own self.
How the fuck could I have sent off a cover letter requesting for employment with the name of another firm stated in it.

Why the fuck do I keep fucking up!

I fucked up my A level,
I fucked up my social life,
I fucked up a beautiful relationship,
I fucked up someone's life,
I fucked up my 3rd year's design,
and now this.

Maybe the next thing i'll fuck up is my LIFE! literally.

Final Year, Provisional

4th year concluded with the exam paper.

One more year to B Arch.

Woo hoo!

EYES

Design handed over to uni for the possibility of inclusion in the annual students' work publication.

Hopefully that puts an end to my grieve. I fucked-up a winning scheme in 3rd year.

Even the tutor still remembers vividly.

it was to River Quay

I am tired and yet I could not sleep. The moment I close my eyes, for some unknown reason, the very last few moments spent with her in Singapore back in 2003 kept playing in my mind. The skinny kerb on the 3 lane road, where now sits the esplanade, we were walking there balancing tightrope-like, one side potted plants and the other cars at menacing speed. I can’t get that out of my head. I don’t know why.

Why does she not let me forget?…why do I not let me forget?

...shitty days

They sure don’t make life easy huh.

There’s already a conflict of interest with future flatmate on where to live. Just mother fucking great!

Real Arseholes

Real estate agents are fucking annoying to deal with.

to forget

I can’t seem to write anything and not hit backspace or simply close the window and yet at the same time I’m burdened with my thoughts. Perhaps it’s just too much for me to consciously jot them down, hence validating them. Perhaps I feel better to just shut them off and ignore them.

My thoughts never do go away.

If only amnesia is available by choice.

Hi

She wished me happy belated birthday and hoped that I had a great one.

And that’s it.

the truth

Not a word, not a sound (from her) and as much as I would like to deny, at moments like this there is so much pain.