planes, the ocean, baileys, winter and ...

Perhaps it is my thoughts going on overdrive induced by suppressed anxiety as I just realised that I terribly miss relationships which provide significant conversational depth. It has been quite a while now since I have met any women who are able to engage in deep discourse or even steer a discussion towards that. No doubt, I find such engagement profoundly attractive.

admission

With just a week to go before I return to Melbourne as a full time student, I cannot deny that I am feeling bouts of insecurity at the moment.

indication of disease

A trip to the local bank this afternoon run predominantly by the locals of a certain privileged ethnicity served a disconcerting reminder that I absolutely must obtain a citizenship of a civilised nation and leave this malaise nation for good.

wedding website?

A moment ago we were having conversations over baileys in the deep of winter on my kitchen benchtop and now she's halfway round the globe planning for her upcoming wedding.

Time sure goes by quickly, but hey... she sure still puts a smile on my face like always.

getting lost to find myself?

To be completely honest I am feeling rather unsure at the present moment. Going back to Australia is certainly what I wanted but to embark on a 3 year Master degree is still a rather big step for me to take. I could imagine that many would kill for the chance to return to uni but for me it means having to start all over again and I couldn’t help but to feel a little left out in my career. By the time I’m done with the degree, I’ll be 5 years behind my peers. It probably won’t bother me as much then as it is right now because I know that I can only do so much at the present. I can’t help but to feel tormented as it seems that for every step forward I take, I will inevitably have to take almost a full step back. The past 1 half years have been such a mess. I pray real hard things will be a little bit clearer once I get back to Melbourne.

stormy waters ahead

I suppose this wouldn't be the first time my dad isn't too happy about the decisions I make or have made.

2005 - Resigning from Hijjas Kasturi Associates.
2007 - Dropping out from the Master of Architecture, back to Bachelor of Architecture.
2008 - Applying for an Australian PR.
2009 - Resigning from MKPL and return to Melbs for further studies.

Honestly it is disheartening for me to go against his wishes but at the same time, I've always did and I suppose I still will. I stand firm on my decisions as I have concrete reasons for making them. Though, I just wish he is a little more understanding as I do get upset for grieving him.

Then again, this is what happened on the 3 earlier occasions:

2005 - Got into GDP which turned out to be most beneficial for my education and my career. This is where all the high flying career bit started.

2007 - One massive argument over the phone and my final year in B. Arch turned out to be the most memorable of all, complete with a first class honours, second highest grade for design that year and a Bates Smart graduate nominee. Better yet, it preluded to me finding out what I was looking for.

2008 - Upon seeking my way home, I've been taught humility and truly learn to walk closer and to trust the Lord.

The outcome of my decission this year is still to be determined. All I can do at this point I suppose, is to give my very best.

And pray hard that God by his grace will take care of the rest.

God is great!

"You would certainly be eligible to apply for the Post graduate diploma in Planning and design. This program allows you to focus in on a particular are of interest and develop deeper knowledge and skills.

There is a July intake for the Postgraduate Dip and The Master of Planning and Design. Entry requirements for the postgraduate Diploma in Planning and Design is a three year degree in one of the disciplines of the faculty. You meet this criteria given you have completes a 5 year sequence in Architecture. You would also meet the entry requirements for entry into the Master of Planning and Design.

You must provide a personal statement with your application that outlines why you want to undertake the program, your motivation, along with the completed and signed application form. We will be able to print of your student record so there is no need to provide transcripts."

- Soon now, soon. I'll be coming home.