Unpublished 01
Here's an unpublished post from August 12, 2004. Never thought of posting this then but it seems fit now to look back and trace my footsteps.
I’m a reserved person. I don’t usually show my emotions, least not the part which I really want to show. Hence, the Unknown. It really started off as a screen name which I used during secondary school days. They have this school channel thing in IRC, many of us would remember those days. The Unknown spoke of politics within that skin, politics and issues too heated to be discussed in the open. The Unknown was a mask. Pretty much, it soon gained a meaning. All these years gave a life to the name; I became the Unknown. Unknown to those who know me and more so the Unknown to myself. Silence I fear most, yet its tranquillity provides me with peace. Peace in isolation of the cacophony of noise I live in. It may sound abstract but every single moment of life is filled by noise, the noise of the surroundings, the sound of chatter and more prominently, the noise of one’s thoughts. I tend to think a lot, it’s perpetual. Fragment of thoughts become constant ambient noise. Silence can’t be created, yet it can be achieve. Never through alcohol or any other substance but always though balance. Striking the perfect balance is the key to pure silence, where noise cancels each other out. In these 3 years, I come to understand the importance of balance. Anyone ever wondered how it’s like to be in balance? It’s love. Love is loud. The racing pulse, the rush of thoughts, the exchange of words amongst every little thing and yet in these intense moment, peace is found. Love creates perfect balance. Love is Pure Silence. I admit I’m a coward when it comes to love, aren’t we all? To flirt is easy, but to commit is hard. Love itself is so volatile, it either clicks or it turns catastrophic. In love, there is no leeway, no give and take. Love is fluid, love is a whole. In the midst of noise I found her, and yet many a times I let her slip away, I fear the worse which I yearn the most. I’m afraid she might slip away like many others. I’m afraid I slip away like always. I love her but I dare not; for it’s love!
I’m a reserved person. I don’t usually show my emotions, least not the part which I really want to show. Hence, the Unknown. It really started off as a screen name which I used during secondary school days. They have this school channel thing in IRC, many of us would remember those days. The Unknown spoke of politics within that skin, politics and issues too heated to be discussed in the open. The Unknown was a mask. Pretty much, it soon gained a meaning. All these years gave a life to the name; I became the Unknown. Unknown to those who know me and more so the Unknown to myself. Silence I fear most, yet its tranquillity provides me with peace. Peace in isolation of the cacophony of noise I live in. It may sound abstract but every single moment of life is filled by noise, the noise of the surroundings, the sound of chatter and more prominently, the noise of one’s thoughts. I tend to think a lot, it’s perpetual. Fragment of thoughts become constant ambient noise. Silence can’t be created, yet it can be achieve. Never through alcohol or any other substance but always though balance. Striking the perfect balance is the key to pure silence, where noise cancels each other out. In these 3 years, I come to understand the importance of balance. Anyone ever wondered how it’s like to be in balance? It’s love. Love is loud. The racing pulse, the rush of thoughts, the exchange of words amongst every little thing and yet in these intense moment, peace is found. Love creates perfect balance. Love is Pure Silence. I admit I’m a coward when it comes to love, aren’t we all? To flirt is easy, but to commit is hard. Love itself is so volatile, it either clicks or it turns catastrophic. In love, there is no leeway, no give and take. Love is fluid, love is a whole. In the midst of noise I found her, and yet many a times I let her slip away, I fear the worse which I yearn the most. I’m afraid she might slip away like many others. I’m afraid I slip away like always. I love her but I dare not; for it’s love!
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