Gaps

I find it hard to write properly at this moment, mainly because I just woke up. What I really want to say is that we as human fantasise. That differentiates us from animals. We have the ability to imagine. To analyse situations and project them to greater highest, to predict the future and to a certain extent, that drives us. We set ourselves goals and we try our very best to achieve them. We go great distance to realise the dreams we have. I fantasise quite a bit. I have my dreams and certainly goals which I want to achieve. Looking back at my lists of the many things I would like to have, they are probable the same as everyone else; to be successful. The difference lies in the definition of success, every one of us have our very own. Eager to realise every one of them, I did push myself a little too hard, rush though things a little too quickly. I wasn’t careful at choosing between what I want and what I need. In the end, I had too many of “I want” and neglected my “I need”. I took a dive when things tumbled down which lead to depression. Depression, to me, is caused by gaps in our live, metaphorically, these gaps are like foot prints left on a beach, wipe clean by the waves when they come ashore. At times, the waves aren’t nearly as strong, and the prints do not get erase. These empty gaps are essentially the “emptiness” one feels. When I was wiped clean of the things I had, I was left bare and empty and for this two, almost 3 whole years now I’ve been both trying to fill those gaps up. Some of them, sadly, still remain as bare as they were before. Those are the gaps I can’t fill by myself, they are meant only to be washed away by the waves. I still am waiting for the water to hit the shores. I believe now, some times it takes us two leaps to come close and one very essential step back to achieve. Moral of this post, “all good things come to those who wait”. I should wait.