I need my fix.

Striking a balance, that strikes my mind every time I think about my life. Life, indeed it has been a hangover, a very long one since 2001. If only it was a hangover, pop a couple of painkillers, down a couple bottle of Gatorade and I’ll be back on my feet, only it’s not. 2001, it certainly been a few years, looking back there’s 1997, every more years to add. The significance of events, they unfold themselves like bloody clothes left too long in the drier. It’s a hangover because I’ve been sober; no longer intoxicated by the life I live. I’m no longer living by the high of success, ultimately no longer immortal. It’s funny how life takes a turn, one event leads to a chain of others, every single one systematically tailored to bring me down to my knees to sober me up. I miss that feeling, the tickle down my neck I get back in those good old days. I was flying high, mountains did not bother me, and easy did I scale them. They didn’t bother me, those dreams, rather nightmares. Since that day when it all came crumbling down, I hung by a thin strand of thread not wanting to give in. I screwed up, I messed up and I should have seen it, in the end, even she left. Not to be mistaken, I did love her, I did want her but it was the significance of me which she carried that makes me long for her. She reminded me of my days of achievements, my days of high immortality. She’s long gone and I’m sober. She left along with 2001.