I wish I hadn't met her!

I suppose I am very devastated now that I feel so numb, all emotions are push back. She didn’t even have to speak, it was so cold. It is true “she” that I knew that I loved has truly died. I feel like a complete idiot because I would have given up everything for her (or at least for “her”). There is this enormous anger building up within me right at this very moment because I’ve been such a fool. I truly fucked myself over to the degree that perhaps only I could comprehend.