Confusion Confuse

I’m in such a confused state because there is a huge discrepancy between knowing and believing. As said, I know that between J and me there can’t be more than friendship but at the same time I refuse to believe that. Even when all the signs are evident that things will not go much further I choose to ignore them and believe in those less significant signs that say otherwise. I choose to believe in attraction and at the same time I know of the reality. It has come to a point where I am confused by the confusion which in the first place couldn’t have logically existed. I am so screwed.